Catastrophe dans la fabrication
by Calenelen
Summary: IK Not good at these so here is a quick snippet: Suck? Possibly, probably and the dark haired man with an insanely large grin on his face would more than likely make this day even worse. "Miroku....did you bring a stash of rum balls to work again?"
1. Cheery Females and Possible Deaths

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, that honor goes to Rumiko-sama and her genius. Oh and if this story resembles someone else's please tell me...I don't think ti does other than the whole corporate business type thing.

Although....I did happen to acquire one of the very handsome men on the show.......

Miroku: Acquired? I precisely remember you luring me into that alleyway and than you giving me some weird flavored sake. You drugged me!!!

Ren: I thought you wouldn't mind. And hey! The only reason you came over was because you thought you could get some. Hentai!!!

Miroku: I resent that I am a devote Buddhist priest. I have righteous morals and regard every woman I meet with respect and appreciation.

Ren: Yeah right. You grope them and ask them to bear your child. the day you approach a female and don't even think about doing anything like that is the day when pigs, **non-demon**, sprout wings and fly to the moon and back then give birth to alien bunnies.

Miroku: ....................Can I be untied now?

Ren: Hmph. I thought so can't even defend himself because you know it's true! On with the story, if I keep Miroku here long enough Sango promised me a demon fire cat...so kawaii!!!

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Catastrophe dans la fabrication: Chapter 1

Introducing a very "cheery" female and possible painful killings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rain......sixth day this week.

_What? Does the world really hate me that much? Six days and we didn't even get to do all we planned because of these bloody nonstop showers._

The young woman sat at her desk, tired and worn out from finally finishing the work left on her desk. _ Remind me to never take a week vacation again......ugh...or get drunk on a Sunday night...definitely not my best day. This week is going to suck._

Suck? Possibly, probably and the dark haired man with an insanely large grin on his face would more than likely make this day even worse.

"Hey Kagome! Why don't we go out for lunch today? You've been working all morning and it's such a beautiful day!"

"Miroku....did you bring a stash of rum balls to work again?" _Ooo...the innocent face...yep he definitely had at least a box._

"Maybe...did you want some Kagome-chan? They were quite good...I might still have a box. So what do you say to lunch? We can kick this pizza stand for an hour or two and still get paid," replied Miroku as he sat down on Kagome's desk.

"Where and are you paying?"

"Rioccelli's. And your questions wound me Kag-chan! How could you think me so low as to not pay for a lady's mea........Excuse me miss..."

_Hmm....leggy blonde in a short black dress...definitely a new girl._

Every woman on the floor knew never to where anything that showed unnecessary skin unless you wanted Miroku's wandering hands somewhere they shouldn't be. They also knew as soon as he put on his serene and priestly facade to run and never look back.

"Why I believe you have something caught on your dress why don't I..::slap::.....or not. Why do they always do that?" asked the now very red cheeked Miroku. 

Kagome laughed. _That one has a pretty good arm...can't feel any pity for him though. _"Which answer would you like this time? Could it be perhaps the fact that women don't like to be groped or the fact that you do it repeatedly and they know that your hand didn't 'just slip'? Oh, or how about..." 

"Kagome." 

"Yes?" 

"I get your point." 

"Good. Now does that mean you will stop?" 

"Like hell." 

"Hell will freeze over when it does happen, or some enraged boyfriend will cut off your arms, ne?" 

"Not a very pleasant attitude today, hmm? Well, I am just a man that appreciates the beauty and elegance of the fairer sex." 

"Right....working on a new pick up line?" 

"Did it work?" 

"Miroku....one word." 

"Yes?" ::puppy dog eyes::

"Ewww!!"

"I am feeling very unloved." 

"Well you're still buying me lunch, but we have to be back by 2:00PM." 

"And she goes and hits me up for a free meal...I'm nothing but a money slave. Wait. Why 2:00?" 

"Ah, uhehehehe. Mizuki-san has some businessmen from the French branch of Youkai Inc. coming and apparently I'm the most fluent in the language." 

"How long did you take French?" 

"Four years. Got pretty good grades too." 

"How long ago were these 'pretty good grades'?" "

"Um....high school." 

"You're screwed." 

"I know." 

"If you loose the deal because of it Mizuki-sama will tie you up and quarter you." 

::sigh:: "I know....." 

"Can I come?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N. Not necessarily the best thing to say to a hung over female ne? Miroku is going to hit up hard...ah well. I enjoy being evil to him.

Miroku: Please?

Ren: No. Not until I get the cat and even then maybe not.

Miroku: Why not? I have been perfectly well behaved and a gentleman...

Ren: Especially when you gave Rash and Chibi the once over?

Miroku: I plead the Fifth.....and before I am killed please review. Please? They are her food and calm her down...she won't hurt me so much...::sees partially concealed bat:: Not that she ever has because she is very wonderful, amazing, beautiful...

Next Time on CDLF: "Parlez-vous francais? Um...oui?" Kagome gets a wonderful lunch from Miroku and then heads off into the lion's den to meet the two businessmen. Any guesses who? Well, just wait and find out how everything turns out. Everything goes perfectly ::cough:: into flames ::cough::! 


	2. Parlez vous francais? Um oui?

Disclaimer: Yes, I am not the wonderful genius known as Rumiko-sama.....no matter how much I claim or want to be....Oh and Miroku is still in my clutches.

Miroku: Very evil clutches.

Ren: You know, I have a questions.

Miroku: ::raises eyebrow:: Yes?

Ren: How in the blue hell do you know what the Fifth Amendment is?!?!?!

Miroku: Oh quite easily. There was a segment on the U.S. Constitution over there on the T.V.

Ren: Who turned that on?

Miroku: Chibi...she wanted to make me to "watch something that would drive me insane" I believe were her exact words.

Ren: And now you know and understand what the Fifth Amendment is?

Miroku: Yes. ^_^ 

Ren: Crap. -_-

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Chapter 2.

Parlez-vous francais? Um...oui?

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Kagome continued to glare at the man next to her as they road down the elevator. _Can I come? Bastard..._ Miroku now sported a sore jaw to go with his slightly pink cheek. _That did feel good though._

"Kagome?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you talk to me now? I have apologized many times and am truly sorry. I should know by now to make smart-ass comments within swinging range."

"When we get to the restaurant, you will pay for whatever I buy no matter what. No questions and I may consider us even. Understood?"

"Hai, Kagome-chan."

**********************

Rioccelli's was a nice Italian restaurant a few blocks from Futouitsu (disharmony/disunity) Advertising, where the two worked. It was a quiet, quaint, family run business on one of the most popular corners. For all the 2 years Kagome had been with the company, once a week she and Miroku would eat here. Kagome for the food and Miroku for......

"Damn...we're too early."

"Nani Miroku?"

"Oh nothing."

"Nothing? So the fact that we are here too early for Sango-chan to be working it's nothing? Hmm?" Kagome replied while jabbing him in the ribs.

"Shhhh!!!! Kagome you must not reveal any of the secrets of a man's heart. It is not proper."

"And it's not proper for you to grope her as she is taking our order either. I wonder how many trays have been broken since she started smashing them onto your head?"

"34," Miroku answers calmly. Kohaku, the younger brother of said waitress, approached the pair. "Ah...Kohaku. Is our usual table free."

"Hai Miroku-san. Follow me."

"Wonderful."

The two friends seat themselves, Kagome speechless after Miroku's answer to her question. "Here are the menus. I'll be back with some water in a few minutes."

"Thank you." Miroku turns to Kagome as the teenager walks away. "Kagome-chan, why do you have that expression on your face?"

"You kept count!?!?!?" she screeched. Several customers turned to look at the young businesswoman. "Oops," she says as she blushes.

::sigh:: "How could I not? Every time that lovely specimen came over...I could not help myself. Each hit only serves to increase my persistence in winning her heart."

Kagome raised an eyebrow to that confession. _If violence increases his persistence he has problems...well more than usual._ "So, you want to hang around until she comes, ne?"

"Naturally."

"So she can hit you in the head when you grope her?"

".............Not necessarily."

"But that **is **what happens every time."

"Here are your drinks."

The startled pair looked over at the amused waiter. He placed the water in front of them and stood by patiently for their orders.

"Oh and by the way Miroku-san."

"Hai?"

"Onee-sama isn't working today. So Kagome-san, what would you like to have today? Tou-san made the lasagna today."

"Hmm...." Kagome smiled as she scanned the menu. "I will have the meat lasagna, bread sticks, spaghetti and meat balls, a Caesar salad, ooh...ravioli.....that too, the pasta of the day, and....one of those chocolate things that are so good. Oh and a coke." ^_^

"Yes ma'am. Miroku-san?" The teenage turned to the hoshi who by the looks of it would die of shock any second. "Miroku-san, are you alright?"

"You are going to eat ALL of that?!?!?"

"I told you you would be paying for anything I eat. Consider this as a form of revenge. After all, are you not a money slave?" she replied with a smirk.

Miroku looked at Kagome and then the menu, mentally adding up everything she ordered. _She really did mean I was going to pay...oh well at least she is appeased.............for awhile. _"Kohaku, I will have the large Caesar salad and iced tea."

"That's all?"

"Yes."

"Alright then. It will be ready shortly. Kagome-san, would you like it in servings or a little bit at once and the rest in a doggy bag?"

"A little bit of everything and whatever's left you can pack up. Thanks Kohaku."

"Mhmm," he waved as he walked away from the table.

"You have a black hole for a stomach don't you? A little but of everything is still going to be twice what a normal person eats!"

"I'm hungry."

"Sure."

*******************************

One hour later and the bill was paid as the duo walked casually back to the office.

"Miroku!!!!!!!! Can we please take a cab?"

"Why what on earth for?"

"Because I am going to puke any second."

"Well that would be your problem. You didn't have to eat everything on your plate and then desert."

"I was hungry."

"Well then walking will do you good. Burn off some of those calories. Oh! The bakery is having a sale! How about we get some cookies to take back to the office? Or some rum balls.....Kagome?" Miroku stopped and turned around to see a very green Kagome. _ She doesn't look to good...her problem._

"Miroku?"

"Yes?"

"If you mention one more item of food I will barf all over you."

"Hai."

*******************************

Kagome stretched as she sat at her desk. She looked over at the clock which read 1:30 P.M. _Still have some time before the Frenchmen come.._ Suddenly a pop-up message appeared on her computer.

_"Kag- intimidator coming in a few seconds. Just left mine.- Hosh"_ Kagome quickly closed the window and looked around at her small working space.

_Crap.....gotta look busy....gotta look busy..gotta look busy......Aha! _ Kagome grabbed her French dictionary quickly off her side table. _At least it looks like I'm preparing...._

"Higurashi-chan, how are you this afternoon?" 

Kagome looked up to see her boss, a pretty dark haired woman in her late twenties. Upon first glance, she looked like your average young businesswoman. However, when she enjoyed intimidating anyone and everyone she worked with. _She has that glint in her eyes...anytime they are a bright green I know torture is in store...._

Kagome stood and bowed slightly, pasting a forced smile on her face.

"Good afternoon Mizuki-san. It is going quite well at the moment. I finished those summaries for the new designs."

Mizuki smiled slightly. "Wonderful Higurashi-chan. I see you are preparing for the meeting. Very good."

"Huhuhu thank you Mizuki-san."

"Well see you in the meeting room. Oh and Higurashi, the gentlemen will be here in ten minutes. You might want to......clean up a bit."

Kagome continued to smile until the woman turned the corner and then let the mask drop. She began to glare at the place once occupied by the woman. _I hate that woman...........clean up a bit? What's wrong with how I......._ She looked into her small mirror. A streak of sauce went across her right cheek. _That man is dead...speak of the devil..._

"Miroku! How could you let me leave the restaurant with that on my cheek?"

"Quite easily. I have some good news."

"Oh yeah? What?" She replied as she scrubbed at the spot. "Perfect!"

"Mizuki-san wants someone to accompany you into the meeting as back-up."

"Really who?" She looked at Miroku who now sported a Chesire cat like grin. "Oh no...no no no!"

"Oh yes."

****************************************

_At the end of this meeting I will kill him. Shove him right in front of a bus._

Kagome sat tapping her foot impatiently at the table while Miroku smiled innocently across from her.

_Oh yes, I will kill him._

Suddenly the door creaked open and Mizuki entered with two men. Both were of average height and dark haired. The slightly taller one had long dark brown hair tied into a low pony-tail. He had sparkling blue eyes that lit up when he saw the young woman at the table. The other had a very innocent boyish appearance about him, light brown hair cut short and kind blue eyes. He also brightened when he saw Kagome.

In autopilot, Kagome and Miroku rose to greet the guests. Miroku walked forward and shook their hands as Kagome followed in shock.

"This is Higurashi Kagome and Daitoku Miroku. Two of my best advertisement designers and publicists," she spoke slowly for the two men. "These are the two gentlemen from Youkai Inc. Paris, Yamainu Kouga and Houjo Amai."

"Kagome!"

"Higurashi!"

_Kami-sama really hates me........._

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

A.N. Not much French ne? Well none actually. More next chapter but not much. Houjo and Kouga can speak Japanese so poor Kagome doesn't have to struggle along. Our favorite dog boy will come in soon.

Translation of Names from: Nihongo- Japanese Language 

Yamainu- wolf dog; Japanese wolf

Amai- one form of naive

Daitoku- virtuous priest

Miroku: Yes well now I know my rights and you cannot just kidnap someone and keep them hostage.

Ren: But you are from the Sengoku Jidai.

Miroku: It does not matter. That is against the law. You are keeping me against my will.

Ren: You were sexual harassing my friends.

Miroku: A look is not sexual harassment!

Ren: It's a form. They can take you to court.

Miroku: I plead the fifth. They can prove nothing.

Ren: Miroku, you're not American, you have rights but I don't know if you can plead the Fifth. Besides, what are you going to tell them when they ask where are you from and how did you get into a young girl's room?

Miroku:........................Crap


	3. Hell Hath No Fury

Disclaimer: Everything is Rumiko-sama's except the original characters which are mine.

Ren: So.......still going to try to fight me on this?

Miroku: But you kidnapped me!

Ren: That's all technicalities. Besides, if you tell them the year you were born they will just think you're crazy.

Miroku: Then at least I will be away from you and surrounded by caring nurses.

Ren: You actually want to go to a nut house?

Miroku: Well I'm already in one! A different one can't be any worse than this!

Ren: OK, you can go.

Miroku: Really?

Ren: Sure. I'll make sure you have a nurse check in on you every hour.

Miroku: Wonderful! I'm free!!!

Ren: Mind you if they think you are dangerous it will be a male nurse............

Chapter 3.

Hell Hath No Fury

Kouga and Houjo looked at each other in surprise.

"You know my woman?" "You know Higurashi?"

""How?""

Mizuki-san arched her eyebrow and turned a questioning glance towards the young woman who was currently massaging her temples while trying hard to ignore her companion.

"I didn't know you got around that much Kagome-chan," Miroku quipped while smirking at Kagome. The girl in question shot a deathly glare at Miroku and aimed a swipe at his head.

"Miroku!!! Ecchi!!" Luckily he jumped back in time with practiced ease.

"now now Kagome-chan, how could you take an innocent comment like mine and warp it in that manner. Have you no shame? Insinuating that in front of our new clients."

Kagome finally realized she had an audience. _Oh yes, Kami-sama you really hate me today don't you. Why me?_ "Ehehhheh........gomen nasai. Um...bonjour Monsieur Yamainu et Monsieur Houjo. Bienvenue. Votre voyage étés aimable?"

"Oui Mademoiselle Higurashi."

"Ah, oui. Très aimable. Mais, mon jour est d'autant plus ave toi."

"Merci, Monsieur Kouga. Si vous moi suivriez, nous commencerons l'assemblée."

Kouga and Houjo gathered their briefcases and headed to the door.

"It was a pleasure meeting you two."

"And you Mizuki-san," Kouga replied while taking Mizuki-san's hand and kissing it. The action and smile he sent her way were enough to cause a blush to spread on her cheeks. Kagome rolled her eyes while Miroku stared in awe. "Why I never..." Kagome's elbow in his gut cut Miroku's statement short. "Good day." Houjo shook Mizuki-san's hand headed to the door with Kouga.

Miroku looked down at Kagome. "I thought you couldn't really speak French."

"It's just like riding a bike. I'm just a little out of practice but haven't forgotten everything."

"I can think of several other things that...."

"Finish that statement and you won't be having offspring."

"Ehehehe...hai."

Oh yes it was quite a wonderful afternoon for Kagome. She lead Houjo and Kouga around the office and introduced them to several other employees. Alas, though, Kouga still believed Kagome was "his woman." Let the torture begin.

"So...Kagome, when are you going to sell your place here?" Kouga looked at the young woman with a wolfish grin. The trio had decided to speak in Japanese from now on, much to Kagome's relief. She didn't know if she would be able to keep up with the two Frenchmen in conversation.

Kagome jerked to a stop. _What the hell? Sell my place...... _"Kouga-kun, what do you mean sell my place?"

"Well, aren't you going to come back to France with me? You are still my woman so I thought we could get back together and head back to Paris after everything was settled here. Is there a problem with that?" Kouga gave the woman an innocent smile. Miroku fought to keep in fought to keep in his laughter. The shocked look on Kagome's face was priceless. _Oh I wish I had a camera..........this will be good._

"Higurashi, what is he talking about?" Houjo had stopped his conversation with the employee his was talking to. He gazed at Kagome with a confused expression.

"Yes Kagome," Miroku added with a grin, "what is going on here?"

"What's going on here? Didn't she tell you she's my fiancée?"

Kagome slapped her forehead and moaned. _ Can this guy be anymore dense?_ She glared at the businessman. "Kouga-kun! We are NOT engaged! We are not even DATING!!!"

He looked at her confusedly. "But I proposed. The wedding has been all planned out. All we need is a date. What are you talking about Kagome?"

"You planned our wedding?!?!?!?! I said no and left to come back to Japan! Was that not a clear enough message that we were not getting married much less still dating?" Kagome was shocked. Sure Kouga was obsessed with her and didn't usually take no as an answer but she had thought she made herself clear when she left for Japan the next day.

"You've been proposed to? Wow, and here I thought you wouldn't let a man get within 100 yards of you with any of those attentions. You've been holding out on me!"

"Higurashi, but I thought we had something together?"

"Two men at once?!?!?! Kagome, I'm appalled." Miroku with a disappointed look said as he crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Miroku shut up! You are not helping matters!" Kagome shouted. By now, the whole floor was paying attention to the small group. Afternoon soaps had nothing on real life drama.

Kagome sighed and look sadly at Houjo. _ Might as well deal with the easiest first._ "Houjo-kun, you are the nicest and sweetest guy I've known. But, well....you could never be anything but a good friend to me. I'm sorry if you thought differently."

"That's right. She's my woman so of course nothing will ever happen between you two."

"Kouga! Stop calling me your woman! I am NOT YOUR WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kagome turned around and stormed down the hallway to the elevators. _Honestly, men are IDIOTS!!!! Why I always find the dense ones?_ She punched the button for the bottom floor and waited for the door to open. As the doors opened, she saw her superior coming out of the other elevator.

"Where are you going without the two gentlemen from Youkai Incorporated? You are supposed to make them feel welcomed. Tomorrow is the meeting with the CEOs of the Japanese branch." Mizuki gave her a hard glance as she stepped onto the elevator.

"Mizuki-san, I'm leaving early. I'm afraid if I don't someone will end up hurt and will not be attending the meeting tomorrow. Goodbye. Miroku can handle things from here. Besides, he's fluent in French."

"Wait what? That is not one of the languages on his record."

Kagome smiled evilly at Miroku who was staring at her in shock. Miroku started to wave his hands back and forth and mouth the word no over and over.

_Hmm....payback's a bitch my friend._ The elevators began to close as Kagome said, "No, it's not. He learned it last year when he tried to pick up some French model. Ja ne!"

Kagome smirked at her reflection in the mirrored elevators. She should go back to her desk and get her briefcase out of the small safe under her desk, but she had another one at home and it would take too long. Miroku would find a way to corner her before then. _Ah well, I'll face him in the morning. I've got my keys in my pocket so no need to bother tempting fate. I need a long hot bath. It's been a long day and I have a feeling tomorrow will be worse._

Kagome stepped off the elevator and smiled to the security guard at the front desk.

"Sayonara Higurashi-san! Have a good night and see you in the morning!"

"Sayonara Allen-san!" She called back as she pushed open the glass doors and turned towards the busy streets of downtown Tokyo.

"Iie!!!!!!!!!!!! Not more rain! My station's a block away!!!"

Ah, yes. Kami-sama was not done having fun yet. No, not by far.

Miroku: Male nurses?!?!?!?! No way!!!!!!!! I'd much rather stay here.

Ren: Aww.....I'm touched! ::glomps Miroku:: If you are good I will buy you a nice mattress to sleep on. Off course it won't fit in here. Maybe Jess can fit it in her room...

Miroku: NO!!!!!!!!! Not Jess' room! I will continue to sleep on the floor. It's fine, perfectly fine.....not too hard...no need to buy a mattress......ehehehehe.

Ren: Ok. Saves me money. Anyways, remember to review! Oh and Rashy, I am expecting a cookie since I finally updated. Hopefully the next chapter will be up much sooner. Gomen nasai minna-san! Oh, and Juanes kicks major booty. It's thanks to his CD _Un Dia Normal_ I finally finished this chapter.

Next Chapter: Deux chiens blancs méchant- hmm...who are the CEOs of the Japanese company? If you have no clue who they are.....I pity you.


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